Should You Really Let Go of Control?
“I like to control everything, and you cannot control everything. You have to at some point say, ‘I let go and I’m going to let the cards fall where they fall…”
-Naomi Campbell
Establishing Control
It’s a known everyday fact already. Life feels good when things are going according to your plan.
You feel happy, certain, and unstoppable whenever your goals and dreams are smoothly manifesting in front of your eyes.
With your vision, you could choose to control many things. You could exert your energy and find passion almost anywhere you deem to be worth it: your physical fitness, financial freedom, career growth, or perhaps your relationships.
When everything happens the time you want them to happen, you feel more confident because you know your efforts are going somewhere.
Control to many aspects of our lives seems to be an essential ingredient in our pursuit to happiness and well-being.
Somehow, we feel the need to know the direction we are taking, and the pace we are going, as we hustle to reach our goals.
But some things cannot go according to our plan, can it?
What happens when things don’t work the way you want it?
What will you do if suddenly, you meet a show stopper in your life? And you just got unlucky?
What if you got an injury in your training or game? Your investments didn’t meet their expected returns or you lost your job? What if people become uncooperative? What if your partner want to break up with you?
Can you take it?
Losing Control
Every day of our lives we are at risk to lose our control. A more evident and pressing example that affects everyone right now is COVID-19.
Who would have thought this recent pandemic would happen, and will put a stop to a lot of businesses and jobs?
In order for us to move forward to a better future, it seems we need to redefine a lot of things in our lives. Our view of happiness, our concept of peace, and right now, our perspective when it comes to control.
All of us will definitely feel a level of stress when we lose it.
Slowly, you might start to feel frustrated and disappointed, not only to yourself but to anything and anyone around you.
The more you want to control something, the more you feel you’re losing control of it.
And the more you resist what happened or is happening, it will feel as if the more it is persisting.
Considering how a perfectionist and control freak I am before, I am guilty of this myself. I remember losing so many people and failing on a lot of goals in my life in the process, just by forcing my vision and wants into others and situations.
I thought, the logical thing to do when something is getting out of control, is to take the control back.
When you think and realize how much effort, time, money, and passion you have put into something that is getting out of hand, you cannot just say, “Let it be.”
There must be a way to go forward when things do not feel right anymore, right?
Surrendering Control
Perhaps two of the greatest feats we could acquire in this life are acceptance and adaptability.
And these two are implanted perfectly in a famous prayer written by the American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr.
The Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
This prayer is not pushing us to surrender control, instead it inspires us to know what to control. And this is very important.
It takes courage to fully assess a situation, act accordingly, and to control only the things that you can change.
You cannot control other people’s belief or opinion. You cannot control other people’s feelings or attitudes. You cannot control their actions. You cannot go back to change things or move fast forward in time.
These are things we always forget when something terrible or unwanted is happening.
If there is a control we need to let go here, it is our desire to control the things we cannot change.
It is our only source of frustration and desperation.
To give you hope and direction, I’d like to culminate this part with a verse from The Epistle to the Philippians:
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Philippians 4:6
You are in control of your destiny, whatever happens. In this verse, the Apostle Paul is telling us, that by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let our requests be made known unto God.
I am emphasizing this because somehow this life feels meaningless and without purpose, when we look at it, and live it only for ourselves.
There is some level of hope and certainty when we offer our desires, and our longings, to One that is not temporary.
And we could do this, by simply letting love rule our lives.
With genuine love, all our actions are not in vain, and will never be wasted.
We will begin to respect other people’s lives and journey, and we will give things the right to go and fall to their right places.
There is no need to control everything. Life becomes a boat we sail and play with the wind, as we push further the great horizon.
Ultimately, the things we do for love will lead us to our destiny.
